Things you wish you can tell your supervisor but feel uncomfortable. GO.

This was a post I saw in Uncomfortable BCBA.

6/27/18 from other blog: Anger? Indifference?

Three words.

Three words that always meant good things. 

Three words that I have devoted the past six years of my life to. 

Three words that are a part of a science that can 

- and has - 

done great things for people.

Three. 

Fucking.

Words. 

(No, those are not them).

I will not say the three words as one thing. 

It is the synergy of these three words that have been ruined for me. 

I do not want to ruin it for other people

the way it has been ruined for me.

Three words that I now cringe at the sound, 

sight, 

and thought of

when they are placed together. 

What do they mean now? 

I do not know. 

5/7/17 from other blog: Read This Every Day

Always remember this:

#5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

2/20/17 from other blog: You must leave now, take what you need

"Cold and icy or warm and green. Let it be as it is. Watch with wonder, like the flakes of a snowfall. It will darken the skies, but it will brighten the pavement beneath your feet."

Today I did something different. And I am proud of myself for it. I usually struggle with days like today...the days I have to prepare to do something that I am afraid of. The days that I want to fast forward, so I can hurry up and stare my fear in the face, rather than anticipate it. It is interesting that I compare it to my favorite days. I've realized that when I am about to do something I will really enjoy, I love the anticipation. I love the "getting ready" part of it. The getting ready part is almost just as good (or even better) than the actual thing I'm looking forward to. Maybe because it's a feeling that signals that things are about to get even better. I compare this to days like today...the day before I'm about to do something I am not excited to do (or I am afraid to do). I've realized that I HATE the getting ready part. I avoid it. I want to fast forward to the actual event. I don't want to anticipate the fear anymore...I just want to be there, doing it, and fighting my fear. It is funny how I want time to speed up on days like today, but I want time to slow down when I am anticipating something I am really looking forward to. It shows us how strong our imagination is.